12 things to never say to a cop

**elortt** · 03-13-2004, 02:37 PM

12 things to NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can`t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn`t realize my radar detector wasn`t plugged in.

3.Aren`t you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must`ve been doin` about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You`re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That`s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That`s how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn`t respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

:rolling

**andriver** · 03-13-2004, 05:14 PM

LOL!

**groebuck** · 03-13-2004, 08:30 PM

"You know your eyes are the most dazzling color I have ever seen!"

**clean4u** · 03-13-2004, 08:41 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!! Damn ur to much elortt ill drink to that:beer

**disasnguy** · 03-13-2004, 09:55 PM

hahaha. good stuff.

**bigron62** · 03-13-2004, 11:56 PM

howdy ocifer

**keeotee** · 03-14-2004, 07:50 AM

So what`d they do, bring you out of retirement just to give me a ticket!

Can I look at your bullet Barney!

Is Andy back at the office?

That badge sure looks real for plastic!

Ah yea, fill it up regular and check the oil while yer at it!

Ah, let me see if I`ve got this right, I was third in a line of five cars doing 85 and you just happened to pick me out of the line up - right? Last time I was fourth in a line of five. What am I doing wrong here?

Don`t you havea guilty conscience driving around in an umarked car like that? How can you sleep at night? How can you live with yourself?

__________________________________________________ _____________________

Disclaimer: It is of course all in jest. Great respect and appreciation goes out to those in uniform that do more than just give out tickets but serve us day in and day out while putting their very lives on the lines for each of us! Here`s to them...:beer :badabum

**elortt** · 03-14-2004, 09:30 AM

:yeah

**ranch4x4** · 03-15-2004, 10:58 PM

lol, i like those

**groebuck** · 03-16-2004, 12:15 AM

My favorite -

"Hey remember Cop Rock?. Do sing like those guys, they were cool, come on sing for me doughnut boy..SING!..."

**onthespot** · 03-16-2004, 03:35 PM

12 MORE things you should never say to a cop:

1. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar...
2. `Officer, if I weren`t so drunk right now i`d get out of this truck and kick your ass.`
3. `You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. `
4. `I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket. `
5. `So, uh, you "on the take" or what?`
6. `When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder. `
7. When he`s telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
8. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
9. `Speeding is an abstract concept, don`t you think?`
10. `You should give the ticket to my damn unreliable cruise control. `
11. ` If I were you I`d let me go! `
And finally..............................
12. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.