Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    The Fuzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Wherever there is a mullet... I'll be there.
    Posts
    1,626
    Post Thanks / Like

    FBI Top 11 Deaths

    I was cleaning out an old email folder and came across some pretty cool stuff. This is from a few years ago and I don`t know how long it had circulated. Pretty funny stuff though. Not that death is funny... but stupid people and death make for some pretty eye rolling reading. lol



    FBI TOP 11 DEATHS OF THE YEAR -

    Every year the FBI, is asked to investigate over
    36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious Deaths
    and Homicides.

    Every year the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out
    its Top 11 Homicides of the year.

    1- Alex Mijtus,36 years old, is killed by his wife,
    armed with a 20 inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had
    had enough of her husband`s strange sex practices
    and one night during a prolonged session of fun she
    snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into
    Alex`s anus until it ruptured several internal
    organs and caused severe bleeding.


    2- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was
    killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100
    the next day, but crossing the road with her
    daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel
    chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday
    cake.


    3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8
    year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room
    with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if
    she couldn`t have dinner no one should, and she
    promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her
    fathers coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim
    took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone
    was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she
    didn`t realize what she was doing, until she tried
    to poison her mother using the same method one month
    later.

    4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl
    friend after he attempted to have his way with her.
    His unwelcome advance was met with a double-barreled
    shotgun. Charla`s (the girlfriends`) father had
    given it to her an hour before the date started,
    just in case.

    5- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his
    landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years.
    The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to
    death with a toilet seat after he realized just how
    long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.


    6- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state
    troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake
    town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking
    slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in
    front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking
    she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between
    them, over 40 of them hitting the target.
    "She just looked like a very real looking target",
    one of the troopers stated in his report.


    7- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her
    brother Michael because she talked on the phone too
    long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a
    cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with
    the broken arial.


    8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear
    scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband
    after she had an affair with the neighbor. Over a
    period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena`s
    eyeshadow with a Uranium composite that was highly
    radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning.
    Although she suffered many symptoms, including total
    hair loss, skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and
    even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never
    attended a doctor`s surgery or hospital for a check
    up.


    9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two
    timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate
    explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was
    driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive,
    forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma
    Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons
    some up to 14 kilometers away. No trace of the car
    or the victim were ever found, only a 55 meter deep
    crater, and 500m of missing road.


    10- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her
    neighbor in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her
    neighbor, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F6
    phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire
    the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back
    of his property. Patty Winter would constantly
    complain to the local sheriff`s officers about the
    noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was
    served with a notice to remove the engine
    immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter
    over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole
    situation. What Winter didn`t know was that he had
    changed the position of the engine, as she walked
    into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a
    blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and
    forever burning her outline into the driveway.


    11- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by
    his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who
    should take the family home after their parents`
    passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no
    sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out
    of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on
    the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He
    then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note
    saying, "Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me,
    Brian." Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the
    house, and himself in the process.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    220
    Post Thanks / Like
    Very funny, but it sounds like a lot of urban legend to me!

  3. #3
    The Pit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Garage, of course
    Posts
    103
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: FBI Top 11 Deaths

    Along the same line of thought, check out this site for some good laughs ...

    Darwin Awards

  4. #4
    The Grand Marquis Man crobinso's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Accokeek, MD USA
    Posts
    587
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: FBI Top 11 Deaths

    I just read this on The Motley Fool. It`s an urban legend. Check out Snopes for confirmation.

    Charles

    P.S. - it`s still funny - especially since it isn`t true!

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •