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Thread: You Live In...

  1. #1
    onthespot's Avatar
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    Thumbs up You Live In...

    At the risk of sounding like a `post whore` in the off-the-beaten path forum - I just had to post one last humorous list here; And please don`t take offense if you happen to live in one of these areas that are stereotyped here...:


    You live in California when ...

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can`t afford to buy a house.
    2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
    3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
    5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
    6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You live in New York when...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
    2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
    3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can`t find Wisconsin on a map.
    4. You think Central Park is "nature."
    5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
    6. You`ve worn out a car horn.
    7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You live in Alaska when . . .

    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You live in the Deep South when . . .

    1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
    2. "Ya`ll" is singular and "all ya`ll" is plural.
    3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain`t from `round here, are ya?"
    4. "He needed killin`" is a valid defense.
    5. Everyone has 2 first names.

    You live in Colorado when . . .

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.

    You live in the Midwest when . . .

    1. You`ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where`s my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different! "

    You live in Florida when...

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
    "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

  2. #2

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    What about Hawaii?

    With Aloha,
    Ranney

  3. #3
    jstn's Avatar
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    Re: You Live In...

    Originally posted by onthespot

    You live in Florida when...

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
    this is very, very true
    Justin
    Now Driving: 1998 Black 4Runner
    Have a nice day

  4. #4
    I'm here! jgv's Avatar
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    You live in the Deep South when . . .

    5. Everyone has 2 first names.
    I do (as well as everyone here)

    See??? I`ve found something among us


    Isn`t it great, this Internet thing? You know, meeting different people from around the world and yet sharing (most) opinions?

    Jose Julio Goncalves Viegas (my full name)
    Portuguese details detalhe.net

  5. #5
    Just One More Coat Beemerboy's Avatar
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    You live in Calif were the price of a gallon of gas is .05 cent higher than any where else in the country!!!


    You old govenor buys electric at ridulous amounts well be raped the whole time.
    Old Enough To Know Better, Too Stupid To Care....

    Dave`s Detailing
    Sonoma County, CA

  6. #6
    I'm here! jgv's Avatar
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    About the gas I add one more...

    You live outside the US and DON`T drive trucks when....

    A gallon of gasoline costs about $4.72USD :bigscream

    How about that?
    Portuguese details detalhe.net

  7. #7
    ~Live with Passion!~ BaDm0theR's Avatar
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    I agree with the Florida statements wholeheartedly.

    -Mike

    Owner - Mike`s Car Wash & Detail

    A New Standard of Excellence.

    "Invest in a company that you know can be run by an idiot...because soon enough, it will be." ~Peter Lynch

  8. #8
    groebuck's Avatar
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    You live in the deep south when -

    "fixin" is accepted grammer as in I`m fixing to get that hat...
    Schools close at the suggestion of snow
    Jesus Fish come with every new car purchase
    Deliverence is shown on PBS..as a documentary :lol
    You have activated my special ability....

  9. #9

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    where`s my pop at??( not "soda") yep. midwesterner. when i was visiting florida 1 mo ago, somebody got killed from that road construction debris, like decapitated. i thought it was cute though, the tv station they wore turtlenecks and said "bundle up the kids this morning, we`ve got a cold blast of 55 degrees this morning" this of course when its 35 for high temp home in wash d.c. nice vacation we had.

  10. #10

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    Being from New England.....
    you know they`re from California when,
    Weather broadcasters are on TV outside with parkas on explaing the
    60 degree cold snap
    from the south:
    when you go "shoppin` ", and come back with Bud and cigaretts
    "Be right in, honey...I`m almost done!"

  11. #11
    groebuck's Avatar
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    You should see the local news here - lead stories are mind boggling - Once the lead story was a school bus that a mystery person threw a rock at - (never mind that war going on)...

    and the reporter is standing there saying "this school bus had a rock thrown at it.." then she holds up a pick rock "..much like this rock.." all I kept thinking was...get her - there she is..she did it!!

    Once the lead story was on a new intersection they built for a new mall - it is a 4 lane criss cross type of thing that apparently no one here has ever seen before (on both sides two lanes go left, two go right and the traffic passes each other in the middle on a curve - ) there have been numerous accidents there becuase (forgive me fellow NC residents) this state is full of the WORST drivers ever. The reporter actually had a tape measure and was out in the middle of the intersection measuring the lanes as traffic was coming. She had to run out of the way when the light changed - pedestrian or not - them bubba`s was turning!

    This is the only place I have ever been where they put stop signs on freeways!!! a major interconnect between two freeways (540 and 40) was being worked on, rather than cone off one lane to guide traffic to a merge on to 40 the put a freaking stop sign at the end of the interconnect on to 40!!
    You have activated my special ability....

  12. #12

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    You live in Lancaster County, Pa. if the mud on your fenders..... isn`t!

    I can always get there from here!

  13. #13

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    You live in the south...if you bring a 6pack to a job interview......
    "Be right in, honey...I`m almost done!"

  14. #14
    onthespot's Avatar
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    Here in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina it is not uncommon to see a church EVERY block. Anyone can receive `the callin` and start their own church - Don`t have to know how to read or write, just have to `receive the callin`.
    Most are Southern Baptist churches. They all claim to abstain from drinking any type of alcohol; However, God-fearin` Deacons and Ministers can often be observed in neighboring towns slipping in and out of the `ABC Stores` (Liquor Stores).
    Speaking of churches in the south, there`s a saying down here that if you `haven`t had any in awhile` (<--- censored quote), the best thing to do is go to church. Seems that the best place for an adulterous affair is in church...

    Another funny thing about this area in particular is what`s known as a `brown bag permit`. See, this whole area is considered `dry` (no bars and the restaurants don`t serve alcohol), BUT a person can go to the courthouse and apply for a `brown bag permit`. This permit allows them to carry a bottle of beer/whiskey/wine/whatever into a public restaurant and drink it - AS LONG AS IT`S IN A BROWN PAPER BAG AND THEY HAVE THEIR PERMIT WITH THEM...........
    "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

  15. #15
    I'm here! jgv's Avatar
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    Originally posted by onthespot
    Here in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina it is not uncommon to see a church EVERY block. Anyone can receive `the callin` and start their own church - Don`t have to know how to read or write, just have to `receive the callin`.
    Most are Southern Baptist churches. They all claim to abstain from drinking any type of alcohol; However, God-fearin` Deacons and Ministers can often be observed in neighboring towns slipping in and out of the `ABC Stores` (Liquor Stores).
    Speaking of churches in the south, there`s a saying down here that if you `haven`t had any in awhile` (<--- censored quote), the best thing to do is go to church. Seems that the best place for an adulterous affair is in church...

    Another funny thing about this area in particular is what`s known as a `brown bag permit`. See, this whole area is considered `dry` (no bars and the restaurants don`t serve alcohol), BUT a person can go to the courthouse and apply for a `brown bag permit`. This permit allows them to carry a bottle of beer/whiskey/wine/whatever into a public restaurant and drink it - AS LONG AS IT`S IN A BROWN PAPER BAG AND THEY HAVE THEIR PERMIT WITH THEM...........


    Now, this is fun! Thank you for sharing with us! :jump

    I love knowing other peoples habits
    Portuguese details detalhe.net

 

 
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